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Series

Two and a Half Men

2003★ 7.412 seasons

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

Comedy
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Cast

Featured cast
Ashton KutcherWalden Schmidt
Jon CryerAlan Harper
Conchata FerrellBerta

Episodes

1PilotCarefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.23 min2Big Flappy BastardsDespite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking…21 min3Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of HellJake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.21 min4If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a NapCharlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, R…21 min5The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a HumpAlan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.19 min6Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.21 min7If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually FakeJudith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's …21 min8Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-FulAlan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.19 min9Phase One, CompleteCharlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and E…21 min10Merry ThanksgivingRealizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him.21 min11Alan Harper, Frontier ChiropractorWhen Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.20 min12Camel Filters and PheromonesBerta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.21 min13Sarah Like Puny AlanCharlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long …20 min14I Can't Afford HyenasCharlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a b…21 min15Round One to the Hot Crazy ChickCharlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.21 min16That Was Saliva, AlanCharlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.21 min17Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the HatsCharlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and…20 min18An Old Flame With a New WickCharlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.21 min19I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember YouJudith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party o…19 min20Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the DarkJake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.21 min21No Sniffing, No WowingCharlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a …21 min22My Doctor Has a Cow PuppetWhen Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cu…21 min23Just Like BuffaloWhen Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad an…21 min24Can You Feel My Finger?Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.21 min

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